COACHING BUSINESS PROFESSIONALS
Coaching is a powerful tool for self-employed, family-owned and small business owners.
Self-employed, family-owned businesses and small business owners tend to be passionate entrepreneurs!
Everyone dreams of succeeding! The self-employed, business owners, family-owned businesses, and entrepreneurs work toward that dream, envisioning the efforts working out as planned. They want to make a difference, are willing to take risks, and are eager to bet on themselves.
When the business includes friends and family members, it can be an added source of great support and a source of conflict as all parties begin to delineate their positions and responsibilities within the company. (This is often when a business coach could help regarding relationships, communication, and ways to avoid conflict within the company, whether it’s in the ‘thinking stages of development,’ has begun, or has been in business for decades).
We all want to land on the highly successful side of our endeavors.
But we must also objectively recognize that the higher the risk, the more likely a venture will experience unexpected difficulties or outright failure. At the same time, some highly risky ventures have been wildly successful and have changed our world and many individuals’ and family’s lives.
I never cease to be amazed at the power of the coaching process to draw out the skills or talent that was previously hidden within an individual, and which invariably finds a way to solve a problem previously thought unsolvable.
John Russell
Entrepreneur Mental Preparedness:
Entrepreneurs must be prepared mentally to deal with the hardship, adversities, and possibility of an unsuccessful venture.
We must also understand that IF we experience a failed venture, it does not mean we are a failure. It also does not mean that the venture will not be successful in the future if redesigned, adapted, or the ‘time is right.’
My Personal Entrepreneurial Story:
An article I read over 30 years ago said that entrepreneurs failed an average of 3.7 times before they succeeded. Yikes! I had just started my second attempt in private practice, six years after I had a spectacular failure at my first attempt.
Like most entrepreneurs, I, in my enthusiasm and excitement, followed my dream. My dream was to set up a private practice, hang up my shingle, and welcome a flood of new clients.
I planned, or at least I thought I had. I obtained the needed training, degrees, and credentials and had a good reputation from years of working in my field. I considered myself a reasonably intelligent guy, had observed other successful peers doing what I was about to do, and was a hard worker.
What could possibly go wrong?
Well, a lot went wrong. Sometimes you do not know what you do not know. I had not considered the areas where I was not strong, areas where I needed to prepare, didn’t enjoy doing, or had little control. I needed marketing experience and practical business start-up knowledge and had limited funds. It did not help that my timing was also off, as the nation entered a national economic downturn just as I launched my practice.
I consider myself lucky now, but not at that time. After that magnificent failure, I spent six years between the two ventures, figuring out what I had done wrong the first time.
After my 1st catastrophic failure, I picked myself up and focused on what I needed to do to win. I shifted gears and studied other successful businesses. How were they set up? How did they begin? What programs did they use? How did they receive their referrals? What did they charge for their services? Was social media worth the cost and time required to impact their business? What about office space? Did they work from home? I had a gazillion questions, made a list of them, copied the list, and asked the same questions on that list to everyone with whom I spoke. I began to see patterns emerge. I researched, observed, and spoke with successful professionals from my field and many from other fields.
My 1st failed attempt undoubtedly provided me with plenty of information about pitfalls to avoid, but I also did better preparation the 2nd time. I reached out and found excellent mentors. Some of those mentors were successful business retirees offering free consultations from the SBA (Small Business Association). They were great and free resources. At the time, I needed free as much as possible, and guess what? At that time, I also had a lot of free time. I quit waiting around and began to use it constructively.
Taking those fundamental business steps made all the difference, and my 2nd venture has been an unqualified success for decades.
Entrepreneur PTSD:
For years after starting over, I was terrified every time there was a downturn in the economy. My first failure had a PTSD-type effect for years until I realized I had to deal with my emotions and my exaggerated fear of failure. On several occasions, economic downturns caused people to reduce discretionary spending until things ‘got better.’ Even though they could afford my services, their fears kept them from reaching out. As economic uncertainty has its ups and downs, as it always will, we recognize and count on it affecting our business ventures. Just accept that will happen and lay aside profits from the good times to see you over the rough spots…until the good times roll back in.
Entrepreneur’s vision of themselves:
When we begin to see ourselves as entrepreneurs, that conceptualization becomes one of the ways we define ourselves. We learn, in our culture, to define ourselves by what we do for a living. When we meet others, they ask us our names and then immediately ask us what we do for a living. Often our self-worth is tied to how successful we are, not how brave or happy we are in our business.
Being optimistic, confident, and proud of our calling is much easier when things are going well. It is much harder to feel those same emotions when things go wrong, but even then, we can positively face those struggles as obstacles that teach us something, strengthen us, or take us in a different direction. As the great inventor Thomas Edison said, I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”
In our culture, there are roadblocks for entrepreneurs. One roadblock is fear of failure. Fear of Failure is an emotional roadblock for entrepreneurs:
Entrepreneurs and the self-employed must be able to address this powerful emotion successfully. We must battle the fear of failure when we decide to become an entrepreneur in the first place, giving up security to ‘go for our dream.’ To be an entrepreneur, we must face any powerful roadblock that may impede our success and happiness…and learn to manage it effectively.
It is surprising, but for some entrepreneurs, even if things go well, we may become ‘stuck,’ fearing losing what has been gained. We must maintain a brave mindset and focus on moving forward, growing our business, and searching for new opportunities. This may, in turn, be highly energizing to us and even open new creative ideas and paths.
Body’s response to Stress:
The body's response to stress and change is to give our body a shot of an enzyme called cortisol. We used to call it adrenaline. This chemical creates the ‘fight or flight’ response. It tells our body to get ready to run or to attack the threat physically. It affects every part of our body. It dilates the eyes, increases heart rate, makes breathing more rapid and shallow, tightens all the muscles, dumps acid into the stomach, and takes blood from extremities (hands and feet) and puts it into your brain and internal organs. This response is excellent…if a saber tooth tiger tries to tear your arm off but is of little value in economic disruption.
If we cannot physically fight or run, we may begin to feel anxious. Anxiety leads to ruminating thoughts about whatever you fear, making you tenser. Since the stress keeps the body ‘revved’ up, it causes fatigue and wears out the body. It is like constantly pushing the gas pedal on a car while it is in the park. Anxiety may feel like we are doing something, but it gets us nowhere, wasting fuel (energy) and preventing us from moving forward. It can physically wear us out and makes us physically exhausted. This leads to both physical and mental fatigue. Fatigue is the number one cause of depression, so we can’t let our emotions destroy our ability to respond effectively to our environment.
Some things to do to stay healthy or during a crisis:
Get Control of your body.
Learn to interrupt the fight or flight response. Breathe deeply, relax your muscles, and focus on what you can control, not what you cannot control. We can all control our breathing, slowing it down and taking deep breaths. It is the basis of all relaxation techniques and something every entrepreneur should learn…and practice!
Move your muscles! Exercising your big muscles, arms, and legs will relieve tension in your body. Plan (& write it down!) specific times you will schedule to walk (it does not have to be fast), swim, jog, or do other aerobic exercises for 30 minutes daily. Start gradually. You will have to work up to 30 minutes. 5 minutes is better than nothing, and slowly build strength, breathing, and stamina. Build up your routine to work out at least three times a week, with your eventual goal to exercise daily. You are not trying to run a marathon on the first day; this is a moderate exercise to get your body in an aerobic zone. It is an important thing to do to keep both your body and mind strong and working together.
An exercise routine is much easier over time and may even become something you eventually enjoy. Start slow, gradually add another day, or increase time or distance, and pace yourself to prevent injury. Exercising releases serotonin (your body’s ‘natural antidepressant’) and dopamine (the ‘feel good chemical’ in your brain). It’s the best way to fight anxiety and depression. Check with your physician for advice; they will be thrilled that you are taking a step toward better physical health to lead to better mental health.
Pay attention to your sleep patterns. If you do not sleep well (at least six hours a night), you will wake up tired, begin to run down, and may become depressed. Sleep disturbance is frequently the first sign of depression. Do not underestimate the benefits of sound sleep! This is when your brain sorts through the day’s events, files what is important, and tries to ‘connect the dots.’ You may even wake up with a new idea or a solution to a problem by ‘sleeping on it.’
Monitor if you are experiencing any of these sleep patterns: you fall asleep but wake up several times a night; or you fall asleep, wake up, and aren’t able to go back to sleep; or you sleep too much and still feel tired. Watch for any departure from your usual sleep pattern. Medical professionals recommend 8-9 hours of sleep nightly. No one can force themselves to sleep! Regular aerobic exercise is the best way to help yourself sleep.
Learn to control your thinking.
Stop beating yourself up mentally!
Stop trying to use your mind or thoughts to undo whatever goes wrong. It is a waste of energy. Accept reality. You may feel like you are doing something by concentrating or focusing on your past mistakes, but you may be ruminating if you do nothing about it. You can think all day about the big hole in the roof, but if you do not take action, you will get wet every time it rains. Please do something about it! Don’t just think about it. You cannot undo the past, so do not let it become the heavy boulder you carry around on your back (or in your head) that reminds you that you made a mistake.
Many of us attack ourselves when things go wrong, as if we caused the problem. This is of no value. We are all human. We all make mistakes. Rather than being bad people or failures, we are good ‘people who make mistakes,’ capable people who cannot do everything, and intelligent people who do not know all the answers. We are not dirty rotten idiots who cannot do anything right. Thinking negatively only makes us feel hopeless…and blocks our ability to move forward.
Don’t blame others.
Do not play the ‘blame game’! People tend to go back to figure out whose ‘fault’ it is if things go wrong. Don’t even go there. Just accept that it did not work out as you wanted. Do something constructive and move forward.
Gather information.
Find out what is happening and recognize that it will take time and effort. Do you understand what the problem is? What effect will it have? What can you do to address it?
Make a plan.
Organization always beats disorganization. If your plan does not work, adjust it. These adjustments may be simple or involve many revision, analysis, and re-revision steps.
Find the help you need.
Find people, organizations, and institutions to help you succeed. Google it, find local resources, find mentors, and ask friends for resources they know about. You do not have to do it all alone! You have many sources of support at your fingertips, many of which you may need to be aware of. When you’re not working, this is one of the best ways to spend your time, as it will help you grow and decrease anxiety as you accomplish something that will prove productive and help you down the road.
Face the music.
You may have to take a loss. You may have to accept defeat. Most of us hang on until we have borrowed every dime we can get, work ourselves into the ground, and have to be pulled, kicking in screaming, away from our venture before we are willing to consider that things might not work out. Many people who died on the titanic died because they refused to get into the lifeboats until the boat was already at a 45° angle. I always loved the song by Kenny Rogers, “The Gambler.” “You’ve got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em. Know when to walk away and know when to run!”
Entrepreneurs need to know when it is time to play their hand and when it is time to move on.
Look down the road.
Crisis brings about change, and change brings opportunity. Automobiles ruined the horse & buggy business, but they did wonders for the gasoline industry. As things change, look for opportunities. Buying online can be highly lucrative; everyone is now using Zoom, and Uber & your local grocery store, directly delivers meals. People who never bought anything online are now buying many things online. Ask Amazon workers if this is true.
Diversify.
It is hard to sell ice cream in the winter or hot chocolate in the summer. During the pandemic, when bars were closed, distilleries began selling hand sanitizer (as it is 80% alcohol). They saved their businesses by thinking outside the box and adjusting quickly to their out-of-their-control situation. Trust me, those same bars were back in business as soon as people felt it was safe to go back to restaurants and bars again
…and last but not least:Talk about it!
Talk about your feelings. It does help. I know it does. I see daily evidence and knowledge, professionally and personally, of how vital talking is to help people process information, make essential life changes, and obtain the support they need. I sought help from friends, family, and mentors when making my 2nd business attempt. Talking with other caring people and having their insights and wisdom made the difference between my initial failure and eventual success.
Talking to others may require showing vulnerability when asking for help or assistance. Still, it opens an opportunity to form a bond, helps you realize you’re not the only one out there struggling, may open doors to network, and allows you to grow professionally.
Consider seeking help as the gift you give yourself to fight another day! Caring for yourself is preventative maintenance that helps you work better and last longer.
The world needs entrepreneurs!
Entrepreneurs are the cutting-edge thinkers, the movers and shakers, the creative forces that make all our lives and this world a better place! Self-employed individuals, small business owners, family businesses, and entrepreneurs must care for themselves!
The world needs you!
©2023 Clifton Fuller
Used with permission by EmbraceAFullerLife.com
CliftonFullerCoaching.com, CliftonFullerCounseling.com
